Although a bit dark, the idea that a relationship is a business venture does carry significant validity. We seek the company and companionship of others, ultimately, to fulfill a deep-set internal need. The human condition craves closeness, trust, and the safety of another human being. Yet, typically, we must offer the same kind of services to someone in order to get them back.
While this view of relationships may lack emotion, it is still an unavoidable aspect of them. We must invest in all relationships of all levels if we expect anything to come out of them. Sometimes we must even resort to haggling in order to prove our worth.
Equity
Before one can talk about the 'worth' of one's relationship investment, one must understand the sociological concept of equity. There is no universal 'friendship currency' between two people; as a result, both parties in a relationship must contribute whatever goods or services they can in order to establish Equity.
Equity is best imagined as a set of scales; the contributions of our friends or loved ones, are weighed against our own. However, there is the important matter of perceived worth. Each person in a relationship has a different perception of these scales; they may see that they sorely outweigh the other party, while the other party may feel similarly shortchanged.
It seems primitive, but when we come to expect or demand a larger contribution from our loved ones, we will begin to haggle and advertise. We will seek to increase the other party's perceived worth of our contribution, or reduce the perceived worth of theirs. We want to tip the scales in our favor, or at least right them, so that our own investment is worth our time.
Finding a balance, and learning what goods and services hold the most value for our loved ones can be a difficult process; yet without gaining that understanding, it becomes very difficult to build a sturdy, long-lasting relationship.
Saving
Every now and then, you'll hear about how a couple who has been married for decades suddenly divorce. You'll hear about how they eventually became 'bored' with the relationship, or something similar. To explain this sort of behavior it's easiest to consider two types of people: those who save and invest their money, and those who live from paycheck to paycheck.
While both approaches keep a person alive, the differences are still immense. Those who save and invest enjoy more financial freedom. They are able to enjoy a higher standard of living, and have the means by which to make it through life's 'rainy days.' Those who live from paycheck to paycheck do not enjoy much financial freedom. They stagnate in their standard of living, and are extremely vulnerable to a crisis.
A couple who has built a solid relationship through investment can withstand the trials and troubles that life will force upon them. They have the emotional reserves necessary to remain together.
The Exceptions
There are a few very unhealthy exceptions to these investments, and yet they can still be explained monetarily. Of note is the concept of debt.
Infidelity, for example, is often the financial equivalent of squandering your half of an investment. Where gold is what gives any value to the dollar, fidelity is what gives any weight to one's contribution. Once found out, the scales will dramatically tip, often leading to separation. True forgiveness may be given, absolving the other person of what they 'owe.'
However there are people who will, knowingly or not, turn their unfaithful into a debtor. The relationship continues because they 'want their money back.' While it's possible for this debt to be repaid and things to move on in a restored, healthy manner, it is highly unlikely. The common result are two unhappy people who are only together because repayment has become an inescapable must.
