The Beauty Bias

Reference Post

This is a concept of some very extensive study, so I will explain the overarching qualities and speculations of the term.

The term is self-explanatory; we are biased towards things and people that are beautiful, at least as far as we perceive it. This ranges anywhere from things that are seen as cute and adorable, to physical attraction. Anything with a favorable appearance is subject to this concept.

Scope

The beauty bias isn't just a preference to be in the company of beautiful people. In a controlled test, with no objective difference between two people other than appearance, the more attractive individual is readily seen as smarter, kinder, and more talented; any perceived positive attributes are placed on them, despite having little or no proof. This may also extend to accents of beauty, such as hygiene, dress, speech, and so on.

While viewing some people in a positive light isn't necessarily a bad thing, the beauty bias also leads people to ascribe negative attributes to unattractive people. Rather than being not-as-smart as those with looks, unattractive people may be seen as outright dumb.

This mindset reinforces itself, because we will then look for information that confirms our beliefs, and attempt to disregard information that dispels it(i.e. confirmation bias).

Retrospective Beauty

While the mind places positive attributes on those it sees as beautiful, it also places beauty on those who have positive attributes. Talent, confidence, and charisma can have a strong say in how attractive people find you.

While this is a wonderful thing for those who get to know each other face-to-face, this has created a complication for the growing internet culture. People can form close relationships with those they've never seen before, and when the reveal comes, it can be terribly disappointing. The bias not only creates a high standard of expected beauty for the other person, but can see the other person's lack of beauty as a betrayal. By seeing that the person they've grown close to is unattractive, they may feel like they've been deceived. With the mentality that unattractive people have little or no good qualities, this reveal can actually obliterate trust.

Cause

Despite numerous theories, the exact cause of this bias has yet to be discovered. Blame biology; blame popular notion; blame the media; the bias is still there, and it manifests before we can even talk. The important matter is that regardless of what may have initiated this bias, it's ultimately our choice whether we perpetuate it or not.

Heuristics

Reference Post

The human brain is impeccable. All you have to do is open your eyes, and about 60 percent of it launches into action. Parts of your brain will actively search out movement, look for faces, and try to determine whether any stimulus is innocuous or foreign, without your consent. Automatic processes like this are essential for not only survival, but everyday living as well.

One remarkable automatic process is the brain's ability to take any new stimulus and instantaneously try to identify it. Using previous exposure to anything remotely similar, the brain will make its best guess at what the new stimulus is, and then immediately file it away, seemingly repeatedly, with everything that it shares attributes with. That way, the observer can attempt to react in an appropriate manner. These mental categories for filing are called heuristics.

For example, if you were to run into a bear in the woods, you would take in all information until you identified it as a bear. Mind, you've never met this bear before, but it will be categorized with all previous bear heuristics, and you will attempt to appropriately react, though I really don't know what the appropriate action is, play dead or run downhill or something.

While heuristics are incredibly useful, the problem is that they are also incredibly insensitive. Well...kind of.

First Impression

The instant you meet a new person for the first time, your brain will do what it does with everything new. That person will be assessed on every scrap of information they give you, and then compared. Age, race, gender, build, hair, dress, posture, speech, and so on will be used so that your brain can file this new person away as quickly as possible. An old person will be filed away with old people. This is good and bad in how it guides your response. While you won't treat the old person in the same way you'd treat a child, they will still be held to the sum of facts you know about the elderly in most everything they do.

Stereotype

The few years I lived in Germany taught me a lot about stereotyping. As a foreigner, I underwent a fair amount of culture shock, because Germans, in some significant ways, did not think or behave in ways that I considered normal. When I finally managed to determine which of these differences were commonplace, I was able to fit in and get along more easily. I was able to create a German heuristic(type of person) and apply it to the whole scope(stereo) of Germans I encountered.

Any group showing noticeable similar traits is stereotyped, without our consent. We do it to everyone, from those who are unlike us, to those who we share much in common. Stereotypes are our best guesses at understanding and socializing with a group.

The Individual

The real problem is that your brain really hates re-filing something it has already assessed. It takes a lot to erase false stereotypes and heuristics; it takes even more effort to erase negative ones, because your brain sees those as important survival information.

Seeing an individual as a stand-alone being is therefore incredibly inefficient; seeing them for who they truly are requires heavy analyzing of information that is never readily available; keeping your brain from lumping them with those similar to them is nearly impossible.

It takes a lot of patience to overcome these biological tendencies, and those attempting to overcome them should be treated with patience as well.

Value

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

There was once a little robot who lived all by himself in a world abandoned by humans. Every day, he would go exploring through the endless seas of refuse they had left behind, sorting and compiling it. As he did so, he would discover all sorts of items he had never seen before. What he liked, he would collect, and what he didn't, would go with the rest of the trash.

He didn't collect gold, gems, or precious metals; he didn't collect cash or stock certificates; all of those went with the rest of the garbage. He collected the things he liked, the things that entertained him. To him, our treasures were garbage, and our garbage were his treasures.

Value is not a physical thing. An object's worth is not a matter of how scarce or old it is. The only thing that makes something valuable in the least, is people who place it thereupon.

Economy

My father has told me numerous times that if you want a good look at how people think, study economics. The welfare of the world's economies is ultimately based on the consensus of how people feel about their possessions, themselves, their living situation, and the currency through which they sustain them. An economy does well when people feel good about it, and poorly when people feel bad about it. I'll cover investment and reward later.

The soul of business itself is housed in feeling. Corporate negotiations are strongly influenced by simple things such as likeability and trust. The sole purpose of advertising is to instill a positive feeling in the viewer about a company or product. By making the masses feel like the good or service is worth their money, businesses thrive.

Personal Value

The problem with the consensus of the masses, though, is that it demands unity, for better or worse. That which a person values can be very revealing, and very unpopular. As such, people will hide or dispose of their values in lieu of gaining acceptance.

While, yes, some people place value on objectively dangerous and selfish things, we are prone to attack those with unpopular values. We see them for their investments, rather than trying to see why they invested. There's a reason why things are valuable to them that aren't valuable to you. More importantly, there's a person behind those values, who is not solely defined by them.

There's a reason why people sacrifice success for the welfare of their loved ones. There's a reason why people will swallow the hate of the world to do what they feel is right. There is a reason why people will risk their very lives for a cause.

For where your heart is, there will your treasure be also.

Safety

Today's society seems to function very well on an economy of secrets and lies. People don't like hard truths, and they are often terrified of being exposed. Simultaneously, we seek safety in others, people we can trust and connect with on deep levels; we seek people who can save us from being alone. Quite a conflict of interests, isn't it?

'Home'

Loving couples form because they feel a deep interpersonal connection. They feel like the other person understands them, cares about them, and accepts them. In short, they feel safe, and they embrace the comfort that comes with it. Those we feel safest around feel like 'home,' the place we can relax, breathe, and be ourselves. Yet this is such a fragile treasure.

It takes very little to feel unsafe. Being yelled at, struck, or any other perceived form of punishment from someone we care about can make us withdraw. We become unsure. We start to close up or tell lies for fear of damaging the relationship, or ourselves, further. This silence is easily felt, and can quickly lead to both parties avoiding contact or conflict out of pure fear. 'Home' crumbles, and the relationship dies, if nothing is done to try and reinstate safety.

As a side note, though, there is a difference between being safe enough to divulge sensitive things, and outright announcing them under wrong time/place circumstances. Same goes for sharing information needlessly.

Nothing to Lose

I hate planes, but I love a good conversational partner on a long flight. These are people I've never met before, and who I'll likely never see again, in a danger-free environment, and both of us are aware of these facts. As a result, both of us will readily and merrily speak with complete honesty about ourselves. I once sat next to a mother and her deaf daughter, and had a very enjoyable talk with both of them. I was able to ask questions of a sensitive nature without fear of offending, and they were happy to answer.

When there's no relationship between people, and they have absolutely nothing to lose, they will commonly feel very safe. This is very unlike friendships and couples, where the complete truth can damage or destroy them.

Yet if you can make friends and loved ones truly feel like there is nothing to lose in being honest with you, then you will be able to see who they really are, for better or worse. If you accept them, show them their safety matters to you, and be there for them, it's easy to find a completely different person than you thought they were. But the most important thing you'll find...is a real person.

Abuse

Smart people know how much they can get out of somebody by fabricating safety. They'll be accepting and 'understanding' so long as the information they get in return serves their purposes. The goal may be  embarrassing truths, trust over monetary situations, or what have you. These cutthroats can do scores of psychological damage to those they use, and can make it a challenge for some to ever fully trust another human being again. The only help I can offer, is to try and seek open safety from those who seek yours. If they refuse to return your trust, then the reason why will probably be important to know.

Unless they're a professional therapist/psychologist/etc., then that's kind of their job.

The Unknown

For being completely conceptual, the unknown is one of the most powerful forces that human beings encounter. It is the primary tool of the storyteller; it generates fear and stress; it starts wars and prevents them; it tests the brave and terrifies the meek.

We are prone to declare just how safe or dangerous something may be to us or others based on how well we understand it, and we will go to great lengths to either learn about it or to remain stubbornly ignorant.

Stopping Force

There is hardly a stronger demotivator than the unknown, as it is the brother to fear itself. Yet where fear can include a full understanding of the consequences for certain actions, the "What if's" of life are equally potent. It is not the guarantee of pain that binds us, so much as the chance. If we know what torment the future will bring us, we can plan accordingly, but the unknown robs us of the relief of a sure-fire solution.

Coincidentally, we will often prefer that certain facts remain unknown for fear of the effect they may have on us, or the regret they may yield. For many of us, we may be uncomfortable when it comes to so much as looking into future options. While we may have nothing to lose in exploring possibilities, we are ultimately opening ourselves up to the risk of making a poor choice. If this assessment is done after making a poor choice, it can cause significant frustration.

The Demon You Know

"Why don't you" is a very common start-up phrase used by the privileged when trying to offer solutions to the less fortunate. A person in an abusive relationship is prone to be asked why they don't just up and leave their partner. Potential backlash aside, many stay in awful relationships because it's ultimately familiar territory. Even if unhappy or scared, these emotions are preferable to what may happen if they do leave, and many abusive partners are more than willing to paint a bleak picture of what that choice will yield.

While not all circumstances are this this dire, once familiarity has been established, it is difficult to explore beyond it. It can be as extreme as fearing to trust new people, or as simple as not wanting to try a new restaurant when several other known good choices are nearby.

The Security Blanket

It is amazing how empowering it can be to have something familiar, anything familiar, in an unknown situation. A favorite food, beloved song, stuffed animal, picture of loved ones, presence of loved ones, coworker with similar interests, lucky underwear: any of these can do wonders to make a person feel safe when otherwise completely surrounded by the alien.

So it's really not such a crazy idea to think that you can do nearly anything as long as your friends are by your side.

Ranking

From the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day:

"Alexander, you aren’t my best friend anymore. Phillip Baker is my best friend, and Albert Mayo is my next best friend. You are only my third best friend."

We are a culture that likes favorites. Favorite movie, favorite food, favorite games, favorite everything. It can be a fun mentality in getting to know people on a basic level, or to start conversations that end awkward silences.

Yet, simultaneously, it is commonplace to treat those around us the same way. We have people who we prefer over others, it's only natural; but spousal relationships aside, sometimes there can be a lot of hard feelings when people rank those close to them.

To Be Ranked

I have a best friend. I feel comfortable and happy with him, and we have a solid, honest friendship. At one time, I was asked by a girl who I liked more: him or her. When I honestly stated who my actual best friend was, she became hurt. Although she didn't openly recognize it at the time, it was clear that her measure of how important she was to others was based on a ranking system. By being liked less than someone else, she felt like an inferior friend.

This idea of needing to place higher than others in people's minds, as if relationships are some sort of competition, is a very base notion. It suggests that regardless of how valuable and beloved a person is, if one or more people should be valued higher, then that undermines their worth.

But is it nice to be on the top of someone's list? Well, yes. It lets you know that you mean something special to someone else. But you don't have to be their best friend in order to be wanted, appreciated, or important to them. People sensitive to being ranked can go so far as to try and make a person like their preferred friends less in order to eliminate 'the competitors.'

The negative feelings caused by being ranked is one reason why mothers answer "I love you all the same" when asked to pick a favorite.

To Rank

Perhaps there wouldn't be so much unhappiness about being ranked, if those who did the ranking didn't invest so thoroughly in their own judgements. There are people who feel that their friends should be treated in proportion to their standing. A person of superior ranking will receive superior treatment, but will be given poorer treatment if someone surpasses them. While this does unconsciously happen all the time, there are those who monitor this regime with a high level of scrutiny, and who consider any disproportionate treatments a betrayal of their affected friends.

What is there to lose in valuing your friends as dynamic individuals, rather than points on a scale? In truth, two similar friends can still be incomparably different, so why waste the energy of trying to pick a favorite if you like them both? I didn't choose my best friend, I realized he was my best friend, but he plays no role at all when it comes to interacting with my other friends, each unique and cared for.

Motivated for Another

I cannot recall the exact story, but it goes something like this:

A group of refugees fleeing the Nazis in World War II were crossing dangerous, hilly territories with the help of an experienced guide. Among the refugees was a single elderly man who would regularly complain and need frequent pauses in order to collect himself. Finally, in the middle of a difficult section of hiking, he collapsed and declared "I can't go any further, go on without me." In response, the guide obtained one of the infants from a mother in the caravan, gave it to the man, and said "Now take care of it."

Despite having been burdened with the weight of another human being, and having to see to the needs of two people, rather than just himself, both man and infant reached the journey's end alive and well.

I took a class on motivation. The lectures were philosophical morality tests, and the book had the flavor of a biology text; it talked about fundamental motivations such as hunger, thirst, reproduction, as well as biological dampeners of motivation. It did not really cover what I would call human motivation; it did not cover what drives us, rather what compels us.

I take a look at my successes and failures. I look at the times I did my best, compared to the times where I merely did enough to get by. Consistently, I found that the central difference was the presence of another person.

Having

Having someone depend on you, need you, rely on you, put their faith on you, or merely find happiness through your efforts is a powerful motivator. For children, having parents or teachers who rejoice in their development and hard work can do wonders to garner a strong interest in their educational career.

For adults in relationships, it is not uncommon to hear 'you bring out the best in me.' In actuality, though, nobody can bring out the best in anyone; rather, they bring their best self out for the other person. They do it because the best person they are, is also the best person for those they care for.

Lacking

It is difficult to give your best, when it seems to accomplish the same as 'enough.' When nobody needs you, wants you, or relies on you, it is easy to conclude that the most logical route is just to get by. The path of least resistance is preferable when you have to walk by yourself.

Lacking is a powerful motivational dampener. It can undermine aspirations, diminish performance, and even weaken base pleasures. It can be unpleasant to go to a restaurant for a nice meal, when you have nobody to enjoy it with, or pay for, or benefit with your company.

The Fundamental Attribution Error

Reference Post

Note: Reference posts are where existing psychological terms are explained in full(Or, at least, as I understand them).

The Fundamental Attribution Error(FAE) is a term for the social tendency for people to blame the actions of other people on their inherent qualities, while excusing our own actions as a result of our circumstances. That is to say, that this is a core mentality behind hypocrisy.

Outward

The outward qualities of FAE manifest when we witness or hear about somebody doing something, and we write that off as a testament of who they really are. If a person commits a crime, the easiest solution to come to is that it's because they are bad people, they have poor judgement skills, or any number of other poor traits. Conversely, when somebody does something seen as good, it is because they are caring, thoughtful, patient, or some other positive quality. These two viewpoints are the center of the psychological manipulation which occurs in politics.

For a firsthand demonstration of this in action, I would suggest sitting in the passenger seat of a car being driven by someone with a tendency to yell at other motorists.

Inward

It is unlikely for an individual to truly see themselves as unreasonable, irrational, or outright evil. Yet many such people exist, people who are unwilling to listen to reason, to compromise, to change, behave, contribute, and so on.

It is because we as individuals are prone to consider ourselves as exceptions. 'People who cheat on tests are just lazy, but I was taking care of my sick child.' 'People who steal are greedy and irresponsible, but I have a family to take care of.' We rarely see ourselves as villains, rather those that have to circumvent social norms, or even laws, in order to do what we deem necessary. It becomes difficult to see ourselves as petty, or selfish, or thoughtless, callous, indignant, or any other terrible attribute. It usually takes the intervention of others for us to have the opportunity to see our real shortcomings.

Discretion

The fact is, though, that not all outward judgements of others are false, and not all inward excusing is without credence. It takes a fair amount of discretion to know when to place a label or to understand extenuating circumstances, and it is, for the vast majority, a better mentality to fault towards trust and self-improvement, than to prejudge.