Hating the Unobtainable

People want things; it's human nature. We're often told if there's something we really want, that we should work hard towards getting it, and that will miraculously grant our wish.

The truth of the matter, of course, is that not all things a person wants are able to be worked for, or paid for, or gained through any reasonable means. There are a variety of ways to cope with this kind of disappointment and denial. Some people change their goals, some seek the next best thing, and others abandon their hopes completely. Yet no matter the means taken to cope, there is often room for enmity. We often come to hate what we cannot have.

Powerlessness

The feeling of powerlessness is an interesting emotion. It doesn't do much by itself, but is often the catalyst for very volatile emotions to follow.

The negative reaction is only natural, as feeling powerless can generate immense discomfort. So we are often inclined to lash out at what caused these negative feelings, even if it is something we desperately wanted. What's worse, is that the more dearly we desire it, and the more powerless we are to change it, the more thoroughly we find ourselves loathing whatever it was we wanted.

Bitterness

The brain is built to try and link any given thought or memory with anything remotely related to it. When there are very strong emotions attached, the brain will often broaden its scope and create stronger connections. It seems cruel, then, that the strong emotions caused by an instance of powerlessness can poison nearly everything surrounding it.

Anything that reminds us our disappointment can become loathed in turn, from objects to people. If we have been denied love, we may come to loathe those who are happily together; if we have been denied success, we may find ourselves cursing those who are living their dreams.

Overcoming and eliminating all of this spite can be a difficult and unrewarding road, because no matter what you do, you're still ultimately denied what you want. It comes down to trying to isolate the bitter disappointments to one instance, and to sever the ties that they've created; It comes down to deciding that you don't want to feel these painful feelings anymore.

Or, who knows, it might come down to fortune choosing to favor you, but I wouldn't get my hopes up.